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An Ordinary Man

from On The Battlements by Zanda Myrande

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Tollain's view of the underside of castle life. Which probably didn't get sung about that much at the time.

lyrics

AN ORDINARY MAN

When you thinks about the way a castle's run
I bet you that you never think of me
You may think of mighty deeds and battles won
But the part I know's the part you never see...

I'm the bloke who minds the midden
And I lives my life apart
In a pokey little shack beneath the wall
And when the nobles use the privies
I gets out my little cart
And I shovels up whatever they lets fall
It may not have much glamour
But I like to think it counts
It's a necessary task to which I'm bidden
So I watch for what emerges
In  small or large amounts
Then I pounces and I drags it to the midden.

I'm the bloke who minds the midden
And the gardeners they know
That without me they'll not keep the nobles fed.
For without a healthy compost
Not a vegetable would grow
And the orchards and the vineyards would be dead.
So I goes round to the stables
For to check on all the steeds
What the ladies and the gentlemen have ridden
And I gathers up the ordure
For the turmuts and the swedes
And I proceeds to take the lot back to the midden.

When you thinks about the way a castle looks
With its towers and its battlements ashine
And you marvels at the pictures in your books
The one part that you'll never see is mine...

I'm the bloke who minds the midden
And a midden-minder's lot
Is quite humble and reclusive as you see
But there was that time last August
When for reasons I wot not
The master's eldest son was forced to flee
He came shinning down the drainpipe
Nearly landed on my hand
And for a purse of gold I kept him safely hidden
And I know that he remembers
Now he's lord of all this land
'Cause if you stand too close you still can smell the midden.

I may be just a peasant
And you may despise my kind
But the world like a colossus we've bestridden.
For however grand your dwelling
And however pure your mind
You will find you are beholden to a midden.

credits

from On The Battlements, released March 15, 2019

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Zanda Myrande Westbury, UK

Zanda Myrande is still recovering from the trauma of being Zander Nyrond for several decades. She has only come out online at this point, for reasons which may be apparent from the picture above, but she proudly embraces her trans identity while still giving house room to Zander and the rest of the deadbeats who populate her head.

Lives in Wiltshire and has better friends than she deserves. ... more

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