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Night Of No Moon

from On The Battlements by Zanda Myrande

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One of our little romps. Everyone weighed in on this one, but the overall conception was Orville's. So blame him.

lyrics

NIGHT OF NO MOON

Gather round, lads and lasses, for this be the tale
Of the terrible Night of No Moon.
It was ten years ago in the Palthanok Vale
And I was a heavy dragoon.
The Amersi had taken the Keep of Kallai
Which commanded the view far and near
And the generals commanded it be taken back
Not a word of dissent would they hear.
CHORUS
Ta-runda, ta-runda, ta-runda, ta-roo,
Not a word of dissent would they hear. (last line of verse as applicable)

Now a heavy dragoon is a cumbersome beast
Not especially suited to stealth.
What with armour and horse, you weigh one ton at least
And it's seldom much good for your health.
But there wasn't much choice, for it turned out that I
Was essentially all that we'd got
And so after discussion and one or two threats
I volunteered there on the spot.
CHORUS

Having reached that decision, they turned with some care
To getting me down off my horse.
It had taken three hours to get me up there
And a certain amount of brute force
But with ropes and a pulley they set out to try
And at last they succeeded, they did
But I think I had been in my armour too long
For I screamed when they took off my lid.
CHORUS

They dressed me in leather, which didn't feel nice
I prefer being covered in plate
And they hung on my belt an infernal device
For the purpose of breaching the gate
It was black as your hat, not a star in the sky
As I crept o'er the ground like a flea
I wasn't to know that my horse had escaped
And was faithfully following me.
CHORUS

I set out to climb o'er the gate of the keep
For to set off the bomb from inside.
But meanwhile my horse had my belt in his grip
For he wanted me once more to ride.
The going was hard, but I couldn't tell why,
Now I ask you how was I to know?
And just as I'd mounted the top of the gate
The stupid great gelding let go.
CHORUS

I flew through the air like an ungainly bird
And into the keep's tower room.
The Amersi commander had time for one word
When the bomb on my belt it went boom.
The enemy fled without saying goodbye
And the keep of Kallai we reclaimed
And the king dubbed me knight as I lay on my face
With a wound not polite to be named.

So drink up, lads and lasses, and raise up the cry
And beat out the time with a spoon
But I pray you excuse me for not sitting down--
For I am the Knight of No Moon.

credits

from On The Battlements, released March 15, 2019

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Zanda Myrande Westbury, UK

Zanda Myrande is still recovering from the trauma of being Zander Nyrond for several decades. She has only come out online at this point, for reasons which may be apparent from the picture above, but she proudly embraces her trans identity while still giving house room to Zander and the rest of the deadbeats who populate her head.

Lives in Wiltshire and has better friends than she deserves. ... more

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